"You bitch. You dropped my baby", said the bum-like woman as she held a shotgun to another woman completely devoid of emotion.
Must I go on?
Some time after the events of Apocalypse, the T-Virus has spread across the globe, turning much of the US (or the world...I forgot) into an arid wasteland where everyone dresses in rags and scavenges in order to survive. And there's a woman who uses shotguns on a motorbike again. And she has a dog by the name of K-Mart following her around. And now whoever directed Mad Max has a viable ligitation case.
Much of the movie is Alice, Carlos from the last movie, someone named after Claire Redfield but actually has none of her character traits, the aforementioned K-Mart who isn't actually a dog in the physical sense and some other no-names wandering around a movie set in Nevada, presumably, first merely trying to survive and then trying to escape from Umbrella who is tracking Alice.
I gotta admit, a lot of the actual sequence of events in this movie has since slipped from my mind, but let's just say that the utter retardation factor of the last movie has been ramped up yet again. Alice's superpowers, more than just enhanced speed and strength, turn out to be psychic powers allowing her to bend fire or something. Really, what were the writers thinking when they put that in there?
Y'know, forget about the links to the game, tenous and near non-existent as they are at this point, this is just a bad movie. The story starts ripping off Mad Max and then rehashes the first movie all over again, but even worse than that was pulled off.
The characters are completely forgettable, the action scenes are too fake and drag on for too long, the set design is ugly and repetitive...I don't see how people can really like this movie on any level, even on a slocky tongue-in-cheek one. This just stinks of shoddy workmanship across the board.
One of the last few scenes of the movie is Carlos sacrificing himself, blowing up a truck to decimate a large number of zombies so the rest can escape. His final action is lighting a cigarette as zombies crawl into the truck. It's not that cool, it's just corny and lame and stupid and gay (the derogatory one, not the sexual tendencies one, and I only say that because this is a hot topic at the moment kind of).
The climax of the film involves a clone of Alice killing a poorly designed tyrant with lasers, exactly like one of the deaths in the first film, before Alice calls up Wesker and the rest of Umbrella's directors telling them that she's coming with an army of clones to kill them.
I mean, this plot is full of holes and just general silliness that I can scarcely believe this really exists. Again, I think even Uwe Boll would be embarrased. At least he tries to shoehorn direct references to the games in. It never works, and you can tell he's a poser because of it, but Goddamn, he tries! This is almost as bad as Transformers 2.
I do not say that lightly.
I realise this was a poor review, but this movie frustrates me whenever I think about it. Crappy concept, crappy execution...
And we've still got one more sequel to go, and eventually one after that! 0.5/5
LOOK WHO CAME: