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LONG BLOG

Gamings Greatest Slinky Invisible Women with Huge Asses.

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A rather specific topic for a list blog no? But it’s come to my attention that a certain type of woman repeatedly appears in games lately. Right alongside the women that only exist to be saved, the ones who are just walking plot devices, or the token woman who’s just there for the sake of being there. There’s now a new breed of female character pushing female empowerment forward just like the Pussycat Dolls did in all those songs where they acted like strippers.



No ass pictures exist......yet. I’m sure you’re devastated.

Overstrike is a recently announced four player co-op game from Insomniac. All we’ve had is a cinematic trailer so far and we know literally nothing about Naya Deveraux, except one thing, and if you can’t guess that by now I have serious concerns about your mental faculties. She probably has the smallest ass on the list but it’s still more……..shapely than most, she’s not gonna be wearing cargo pants is what I’m saying. She also has a beehive, which puts her in the ranks of such wonderful human beings as Amy Winehouse and Snooki and those evil women in the 50’s who had beehives. Hitler’s wife probably had one. Anyway since I can’t write another entry about a character I know nothing of I’ve decided to just fill the next paragraph with information about Crash Bandicoot. Most of you probably aren’t even reading this nonsense by this point anyway.

Crash Bandicoot, or simply Crash, is a video game character and the primary protagonist of the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. Introduced in the 1996 video game Crash Bandicoot, Crash is an Eastern Barred Bandicoot that was genetically enhanced by the series antagonist Doctor Neo Cortex and was soon banished from Cortex's castle for his perceived unworthiness. Throughout the series, Crash acts as the opposition against Cortex and his schemes for world domination. Crash has an extremely limited vocabulary, preferring to speak in unintelligible gibberish; the few English words he is capable of speaking include “Whoa!”, “Nina” and “pancakes”.

Crash wears blue jeans which tightly hug his fine, red fuzzed Boomshawokdizzle, he also wears sneakers and fingerless gloves , making him the dumbest mascot character ever.


And there we have it. Gamings greatest slinky invisible women with huge asses.

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About Handyone of us since 1:44 PM on 09.14.2009

Welcome to the blog.... you must be bored. anyway im Handy, I'm a student in Ireland and I'm here to talk about whatever may come into my mind....so not much then.

Lets see... I’ve been playing games pretty much my whole life, since my Commodore back in the day to my ps3 now I’ve been hooked. Actually come to think of it I can’t remember a time I wasn’t playing games. Can’t say I have a favourite genre, I like to try a bit of everything, though I will go to town on a good RPG. I’ll have something to fill in this space as soon as my life becomes interesting.

^^^ Seriously, I wrote that like four years ago and still nothing interesting has happened.



Like everyone else on Destructoid I’m at a loss on what to fill this space with so I guess I’ll just catalogue my greatest hits, if you can call a loose collection of lists and borderline pornographic fanart “greatest hits”.



Listmania – Because liking something isn’t as important as liking it in the correct order.

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs: Part two

Gamings Greatest Slinky Invisible Women with Huge Asses

E3 Approaches: The E3 survival guide!

Something about E3: 34 things you’ll have to hear soon

Lost? Lonely? Looking for Love?

Gaming’s worst legal guardians

Gaming DIY

Valentine’s Day, Shmalentine’s.....Shmay

Get a new look at the Gaming Salon!

Hatesgiving

The NPC survival guide

Game lessons that don’t work in real life



Fanart Flops – Because you must suffer.

Fanart Flops: Back by (Un)Popular Demand

Fanart Flops: Eyebleach, I Choose You Edition

Fanart Flops: Octopus Hojo Edition

Fanart Flops: Stop Raping My Childhood Edition

Fanart Flops. (Possibly NSFW)



Wankery – The terrible results of when I pretend I’m smart.

Dear Industry: I Am Not a Psychopath

Final Fantasy Versus Itself

Only Human


The culture Gap



Sargasm – Because I’m kind of a dick.

Darksiders 2 in a nutshell

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

How Dare You, Capcom

Death to Red Shepard!

How to make a sequel

Why FFXIII is the worst one EVAR!

The Scandalous Scam of Samit Sarkar!

In the name of SCIENCE!!!




Front page – When Destructoid has terrible lapses in judgement.


Top 12 Videogame porno parodies (NSFW)

Handy’s X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs

Comments of the Week: Busst Stop

Comments of the week: George Michael Warfare 3



Don’t forget Comments of the Week

Comments of the Week: Tinfoil Hat Edition







Just because.
PSN ID:Handy2


 

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