LONG BLOG
Review : Homefront the Awesome Review yeah.
So I just got done with my adventure with Homefront not to be confused with Homeward Bound: The incredible Journey, which I thought this was what this game was based off of, but there were no dogs or cats trying to find their way home, instead I got a bunch of angry people and prison camps.
This is not a game about Michael Vicks Animal Shelter.
For those of you who don't know or have never heard of this game, and want to know about it, you can go to your local library and check out a book about America's Bad Economy and then check out another book about Korea being all Korea, and in the end, you get this
Lots of Noodles...
To Sum up what is happening, Americas economy is broke, like always cause we don't have awesome presidents like Teddy Roosevelt riding buffalo's or WIliam Taft punching through walls like the kool-aid man. Well, Korea gets wind of this, decides "ey, what the hell, lets all join as one nation, and go attack America." Which they do, and thats when shit hits the fan.
You basically play as this group of rag tag people, really wanting to be the A-Team, but not really, instead they turn out to be like the Biker Mice from Mars mixed with the fun antics of the Harlem Globetrotters, trying to save America. Plot of the game now understood, on to mechanics, graphics, music, other thoughts.
Mechanics: I could move around and shoot things, but no where in this game could I grab a bicycle and do a sweet backflip off a Tank into a swimming pool. It controls pretty much like every other shooter if thats what you want to hear.
Grade: Super bitchin 360
oh and this guy
Graphics: pshhh, good enough to keep me interested, but not once in this game did I see someone who had a third nipple. That should be required in every game as an easter egg or at least a sub character that runs around with your rag tag group of survivalist renegades. This one time I threw a grenade and it landed in a chimney, and this old chinese lady came out and was like "Ey, why did you blow up my fireplace?!" So as the kind character I was I went to her, gave her 200 lbs of meat (cause that's all I could carry on my adventure), and she gave me this bitchin Bay City High Tigers Class ring. It didn't really do anything, wasn't even a power up or ammo, it just was rad, and that's that.
Grade: Half a Captain Planet Kwami
Music: I really didnt hear alot of it, I heard screaming, bullets flying, explosions, but not once...NOT ONCE did the game pause to play Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5
This game could have gotten like Game of the Year if they just looped that song in there during an action scene or maybe whenever some sort of hilarious hijinks were going down.
MAMBO No 5 vid (stupid youtube wont let me embed this amazing music that makes Whoopie Goldberg do that breakdancing spinny thing on her head.
Then again maybe I didn't hear any music cause I was rockin out to George Michaels Greatest Hits the whole time through. Sweet Saxaphone jams man.
Grade: Steve Grimmett Grim Reaper Grimace
Overall, after 7 hours of play, a nap, going to grab some pizza, coming home, playing again, running around in the game of someones backyard trying to operate their lawn mower and grill to no success, shooting a bunch of bad guys, saving someone that looked like Pauly Shore,
this game was alright. Its a great game for kids to learn about US History without having to go to school and hear about it.
Final Verdict:
Jon Carnage informed me I forgot to put this lol, such a good guy. I loved this game, sure it had its weird vibes in it that when I went to sleep I'd wake up in cold sweats thinking the Vietkong were stealing my toilet paper, but once you get over that, it's a good experience.
Well I have to say, that this game greatly deserves
4.5 Homeless Shopping Carts being pushed by a bearded William H Macy.
Update: I was told I needed a little clean up.
So here
Shits all clean now.
I also did this post from a cell phone.
(note: I've never played this game but I've seen pictures and videos of it so really this is what I think it would be like to play it.)
Johnny Luchador 
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This is not a game about Michael Vicks Animal Shelter.
For those of you who don't know or have never heard of this game, and want to know about it, you can go to your local library and check out a book about America's Bad Economy and then check out another book about Korea being all Korea, and in the end, you get this
Lots of Noodles...
To Sum up what is happening, Americas economy is broke, like always cause we don't have awesome presidents like Teddy Roosevelt riding buffalo's or WIliam Taft punching through walls like the kool-aid man. Well, Korea gets wind of this, decides "ey, what the hell, lets all join as one nation, and go attack America." Which they do, and thats when shit hits the fan.
You basically play as this group of rag tag people, really wanting to be the A-Team, but not really, instead they turn out to be like the Biker Mice from Mars mixed with the fun antics of the Harlem Globetrotters, trying to save America. Plot of the game now understood, on to mechanics, graphics, music, other thoughts.
Mechanics: I could move around and shoot things, but no where in this game could I grab a bicycle and do a sweet backflip off a Tank into a swimming pool. It controls pretty much like every other shooter if thats what you want to hear.
Grade: Super bitchin 360
oh and this guy
Graphics: pshhh, good enough to keep me interested, but not once in this game did I see someone who had a third nipple. That should be required in every game as an easter egg or at least a sub character that runs around with your rag tag group of survivalist renegades. This one time I threw a grenade and it landed in a chimney, and this old chinese lady came out and was like "Ey, why did you blow up my fireplace?!" So as the kind character I was I went to her, gave her 200 lbs of meat (cause that's all I could carry on my adventure), and she gave me this bitchin Bay City High Tigers Class ring. It didn't really do anything, wasn't even a power up or ammo, it just was rad, and that's that.
Grade: Half a Captain Planet Kwami
Music: I really didnt hear alot of it, I heard screaming, bullets flying, explosions, but not once...NOT ONCE did the game pause to play Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5
This game could have gotten like Game of the Year if they just looped that song in there during an action scene or maybe whenever some sort of hilarious hijinks were going down.
MAMBO No 5 vid (stupid youtube wont let me embed this amazing music that makes Whoopie Goldberg do that breakdancing spinny thing on her head.
Then again maybe I didn't hear any music cause I was rockin out to George Michaels Greatest Hits the whole time through. Sweet Saxaphone jams man.
Grade: Steve Grimmett Grim Reaper Grimace
Overall, after 7 hours of play, a nap, going to grab some pizza, coming home, playing again, running around in the game of someones backyard trying to operate their lawn mower and grill to no success, shooting a bunch of bad guys, saving someone that looked like Pauly Shore,
this game was alright. Its a great game for kids to learn about US History without having to go to school and hear about it.
Final Verdict:
Jon Carnage informed me I forgot to put this lol, such a good guy. I loved this game, sure it had its weird vibes in it that when I went to sleep I'd wake up in cold sweats thinking the Vietkong were stealing my toilet paper, but once you get over that, it's a good experience.
Well I have to say, that this game greatly deserves
4.5 Homeless Shopping Carts being pushed by a bearded William H Macy.
Update: I was told I needed a little clean up.
So here
Shits all clean now.
I also did this post from a cell phone.
(note: I've never played this game but I've seen pictures and videos of it so really this is what I think it would be like to play it.)
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About Johnny Luchadorone of us since 1:47 PM on 01.13.2011
The most ELECTRIFYING Man in Gaming Entertainment. The Innovator of Random, taking you to the Top of Space Mountain, and crashing down on you for the 1, 2,3. Host of the Rad Show: Get There!
I have worked in the music industry, the radio industry, the engineering industry, and the wrestling industry. I represent Dtoid Western Kentucky Division 404. I like to make video games more entertaining. I also like riding ponies while eating bags of gummy bears. I also assist with various other Programs on the Streams. You can find me weekdays assisting with Mash Tactics or generally throwing randomness.
I plan on entertaining, or at least trying to entertain as much as I can until I forget to post, which happens when you're a busy person who is busy.
So basically I'm gonna try, until I need a day off and forget to post, and then someone is like man that guy was really cool, I think he died or something like the ultimate warrior, cause that's what happens when someone disappears, everyone assumes they're dead...or well at least I do. I swear that I thought Danny Glover died like 3 years ago. But when he sent me a message on twitter after I commented about him dying in a river rafting fruit collecting contest in Utah, I was like, "holy crap, he's not dead."
I have worked in the music industry, the radio industry, the engineering industry, and the wrestling industry. I represent Dtoid Western Kentucky Division 404. I like to make video games more entertaining. I also like riding ponies while eating bags of gummy bears. I also assist with various other Programs on the Streams. You can find me weekdays assisting with Mash Tactics or generally throwing randomness.
I plan on entertaining, or at least trying to entertain as much as I can until I forget to post, which happens when you're a busy person who is busy.
So basically I'm gonna try, until I need a day off and forget to post, and then someone is like man that guy was really cool, I think he died or something like the ultimate warrior, cause that's what happens when someone disappears, everyone assumes they're dead...or well at least I do. I swear that I thought Danny Glover died like 3 years ago. But when he sent me a message on twitter after I commented about him dying in a river rafting fruit collecting contest in Utah, I was like, "holy crap, he's not dead."