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Occams Room (Picture heavy)

Hello gentle reader. How are you today? Well I hope. I live in Louisiana where itís in the upper 90ís with a heat index of over 100 degrees. Now letís seeÖ.am I a lizard? HmmmÖ.no, I have people hands and a cardigan so I must be a person. So since Iím not a lizard and donít need the sun to heat up my body in order to move and function, I find this heat to be rather intolerable. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time indoors. Being indoors, I want the room I spend time in to suit my tastes. As some of you may have guessed, my tastes are special. Now whether I mean John Waters special or little bus special, well I suppose that is up to you. So with joy and aplomb (thanks word of the day calendar!) I present to you pictures of the room where I sometimes sit.

Letís start with the overview. You walk in. The room smells faintly of baby powder though none is to be found.

Please ignore the clutter. We are still without adequate shelving space so my Vertigo trades and dvdís are still without proper housing.

Here is part of my trades (NOTE: I call graphic novels ďtradesĒ which is short for trade paperback. Iím not even sure if thatís the correct vernacular but eh, I ams what I ams.) To the left you have my Marvel/independent trade section and on the right is my video game strategy guide/art book collection.

Here are the things on top of the shelves that contain a part of my trade collection. Of note is Pris, my sleepy kitty (more on her later), my Cthulhu horrorclix statue, and Kenneth, my mummified lizard.

Hereís my odditorium. Ok, not really but in a past life I was a gay Victorian naturalist so I say these things. In the middle is the apple of my eye and the ghost to my Mrs. Muir, Pris. She was gifted to me by my friendís fiancťe who works in a research lab and is well aware of my collecting habits. Pris listens to me vent about my day and sometimes, when Iím drunk, tells me all the ways I can become an immortal. To the left of Pris are some dog testicles. To the right is a Dobermanís cancerous eye. I used to date a Veterinarian Assistant. Yes. That is it.

Uncomfortable silence ensues.

Here are some video games I own. Down towards the bottom are my Super Nintendo games where I keep Earthbound and Final Fantasy III. Those are the best things in the world some days.

Here are the things that sit on top of my video game shelves. I try to gather objects that make me happy. So yeah, Jabba the Hutt, wind-up toys that reenact sexual acts and baby dolls filled with religious icons. Thatís what makes me smile. Oh and the cat angel was purchased at a gas station where you could bag your own crickets as bait. Ponder that.

Here are my comic pages that I like. The first is an alcoholic Tony Stark doing his best Hamlet impression from the famous "Demon in a Bottle" story line. The second is an old Superman comic where he encounters the leaders of the Third Reich who have decided they all want to be like him....only still Nazis. Then thereís my axe. I named it Lisa Frank and purchased it at the Texas Renaissance Festival. As of today, I have destroyed one couch, two deck chairs and a variety of fruits and vegetables with it.

These are the images I have placed above my computer because they matter to me. Please note the clown picture. Because I can assure you that it has taken note of you.

This is Mr. Tibbs and on top of him is Penelope. They sit next to my framed images. One always tells the truth and one always lies. Can you guess which is which? Also I have Terrence Trent Darby, my clown friend.

Here are some more video games. I love my video games.

These are the things that sit on top of my other video game shelf. Iíd like to point out Beatrice, my dead-eyed cat statue, Kefka, and Barbie-headed Latin American crippled saint.

My other wall has been adorned with the return of Christ, Jimi Hendrixís grave rubbing and a collection of video game art I purchased from somethingawful.com back when they sold things. Itís a nice balance I like to think.

Hereís my deer hoof lamp. Iím like Ed Gein, only for deer.

This is the crowning piece of my costume jewelry collection. The scorpion's tail is segmented so it can move and be posed where it sits. I have worn this a few times for special occasions but mostly it sits in its shadow box, remaining awesome and keeping the souls of immigrant Chinese workers who died building the railroads from stealing my breath while I sleep.

So thatís the room in which I sit. Thank you for taking a tour with me. I know this was a lot of pictures to scroll through and I appreciate your patience and interest in my tiny shoe box of a world. Have a pleasant day.

- Sent from my Lisa Frank Dungeon

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About Occamsone of us since 7:53 PM on 02.11.2009

I am a Community Moderator for Destructoid. I am also the resident Resplendent Black Grandmother. My mind is broken glass and my heart is swollen and corpulent, like a cheeto left in a puddle of Diet Coke.

Well that certainly sounded dramatic.

LOL Andy was here LOL
PSN ID:Mother_Meat


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