LONG BLOG
Sympathy for the devil: A few words for the oppressed fanboy race...
And I think that can pretty much sum up how �valid� the opinion of one these fornicating multiplatformers really is. Who can trust a mind that has already been tainted by the disgusting and unholy act of multiplatformerism? Just as fish shit in water the mind of the multiplatformer is laden with the shit of an open mind. With no personal agenda who knows what nonsense can spew from their minds? Wii is better than PS3? Killzone is better than Halo? Some have even said these console wars are pointless and we should �Just like get along, man.� These free thinking hippies of gaming are nothing but filth. They are vermin who must be saved by the glory and holiness of your respective fanboyism.
So do not fret fanboys. I know your walk seems tired, your soul seems tried, and your mission seems hard. They will say ignorant things. They�ll question the validity of your opinion of Halo when you don�t own an Xbox. They�ll ignore the cold hard facts like 9.6 is more than 9.7. Hell, they�ll even ask you how you can be a fanboy and then turn around and be enraged at bias. It�s not that you have a bias, it�s that you know the truth. Truth is fact, undeniable and without argument. And the truth is [insert convenient truth here].
Now take this bread, take this water, and continue your journey, oh wanderer.
Oh who am I you ask? Well, it�s funny really. I was one of you. Yes, I was. I was a fanboy, one of the purest and strongest of them all. But then I was dealt with a devastating blow, drawn in by the lust of a she-devil who gripped onto me and wouldn�t let me go until I submit. And when my strength finally waned I did and I have not been able to return since. Who was she? Her name, three letters long, and as potent as a venomous serpent, still rings in me today. It sickens me to say she guides my life, directs my every move, and even disgustingly holds over the games I play. No longer do I seek innovation, or originality, as a true gamer should. Are you ready to hear the name of the she-devil?
Fun.
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About Xzyliacone of us since 1:14 PM on 06.13.2007
ilikeLaRoux
likealot
iwanttomarryEllyJackson
LaRouxisaduoguys
hernameisnotLaRoux
sheisEllyJackson
EleanorJacksontechnically
sheisEllyJackson
hernameisnotLaRoux
LaRouxisaduoguys
iwanttomarryEllyJackson
likealot
ilikeLaRoux
Why everyone should at least lurk on the DToid forums.
I Review Them In Stereo:
Joanna Newsom's Have One On Me
Two Door Cinema Club's Tourist History
Tunng's ...And Then We Saw Land
Things people say I like:
I can't fully enjoy the PS3 without an ample supply of hookers and blow. How does that figure into your Reaganomics? - MegaStryker
I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see. - Alice from Alice in Wonderland; the greatest book ever written
Best thing about those cards are how bad the pun/product writing is. "I only have Snake Eyes for you." "You've Duke'd it out with my heart and now I'm yours to command." "I have a Cobra Commander in my pants." - sheppy
How to read a review without being pissed off:
1. Decide prematurely whether the game is balls, or the second coming of flying spaghetti monster.
2. Go to www.metacritic.com and search for the game.
3. If flying spaghetti monster, click on first link. If balls, scroll to the end and click on the last link.
4. You should now be sitting and staring at a review you agree with.
5. Complement reviewer on such a well thought out and non biased review.
-BlackSunEmpire-
That's because WWI was a pretty low-budget project, it was mostly about the story of soldiers in trenches and lay-low tactics, the sequel WWII, was really the bomb, with millions of dollars invested on it and top notch action sequences. - adrianboy
I think booze is a pretty cool guy. eh keeps me from doing the recaps on time and doesn't afraid of anything. - Pendleton21
Everyone else tolerates it because you're an attractive woman, I find that quite shallow. - Mousse420
*NOTE: I like that quote because at least I know if everyone is going to assume I'm female at least I'm attractive. Call me.
I was able to cause my child to fall into a well of depression after shattering his tailbone by horribly failing the see-saw QTE at the park three times in a row. Then I tried to cheer him up by buying him candy, but picked the one flavor he didn't like. It was like reliving my own childhood.
11/10.
GOTY.
- SuitcoatAvenger -
Xzyliac: @punisher898 Score! I wonder if Cyndi Lauper and Lady GaGa hang out together. #ponders
punisher898 (aka Occams Electric Toothbrush): @Xzyliac: I bet if they do its like the best Folger's coffee commercial ever.
That's awesome. Hollywood writers are the best! I had one make me an iced latte the other day. It was totally adequate!
-Jumbo
Uno just brings out the animals in all of us. It's just too sexy of a game.
-Sanious
Xzyliac, shut up, you\'re not cool.
-Fear No Darkness
*NOTE: I would like to note that later on I explained myself to Fear No Darkness and he totally sent me an apologetic PM. He's a classy fella whom I'd love to share a drink with sometime.
If you've never had promiscuous thoughts about a Dreamcast then you're not a gamer.
-GoldenGamerXero
likealot
iwanttomarryEllyJackson
LaRouxisaduoguys
hernameisnotLaRoux
sheisEllyJackson
EleanorJacksontechnically
sheisEllyJackson
hernameisnotLaRoux
LaRouxisaduoguys
iwanttomarryEllyJackson
likealot
ilikeLaRoux
Why everyone should at least lurk on the DToid forums.
I Review Them In Stereo:
Joanna Newsom's Have One On Me
Two Door Cinema Club's Tourist History
Tunng's ...And Then We Saw Land
Things people say I like:
I can't fully enjoy the PS3 without an ample supply of hookers and blow. How does that figure into your Reaganomics? - MegaStryker
I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see. - Alice from Alice in Wonderland; the greatest book ever written
Best thing about those cards are how bad the pun/product writing is. "I only have Snake Eyes for you." "You've Duke'd it out with my heart and now I'm yours to command." "I have a Cobra Commander in my pants." - sheppy
How to read a review without being pissed off:
1. Decide prematurely whether the game is balls, or the second coming of flying spaghetti monster.
2. Go to www.metacritic.com and search for the game.
3. If flying spaghetti monster, click on first link. If balls, scroll to the end and click on the last link.
4. You should now be sitting and staring at a review you agree with.
5. Complement reviewer on such a well thought out and non biased review.
-BlackSunEmpire-
That's because WWI was a pretty low-budget project, it was mostly about the story of soldiers in trenches and lay-low tactics, the sequel WWII, was really the bomb, with millions of dollars invested on it and top notch action sequences. - adrianboy
I think booze is a pretty cool guy. eh keeps me from doing the recaps on time and doesn't afraid of anything. - Pendleton21
Everyone else tolerates it because you're an attractive woman, I find that quite shallow. - Mousse420
*NOTE: I like that quote because at least I know if everyone is going to assume I'm female at least I'm attractive. Call me.
I was able to cause my child to fall into a well of depression after shattering his tailbone by horribly failing the see-saw QTE at the park three times in a row. Then I tried to cheer him up by buying him candy, but picked the one flavor he didn't like. It was like reliving my own childhood.
11/10.
GOTY.
- SuitcoatAvenger -
Xzyliac: @punisher898 Score! I wonder if Cyndi Lauper and Lady GaGa hang out together. #ponders
punisher898 (aka Occams Electric Toothbrush): @Xzyliac: I bet if they do its like the best Folger's coffee commercial ever.
That's awesome. Hollywood writers are the best! I had one make me an iced latte the other day. It was totally adequate!
-Jumbo
Uno just brings out the animals in all of us. It's just too sexy of a game.
-Sanious
Xzyliac, shut up, you\'re not cool.
-Fear No Darkness
*NOTE: I would like to note that later on I explained myself to Fear No Darkness and he totally sent me an apologetic PM. He's a classy fella whom I'd love to share a drink with sometime.
If you've never had promiscuous thoughts about a Dreamcast then you're not a gamer.
-GoldenGamerXero