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Valentineís Day, Shmalentineís.....Shmay.

Ah Valentineís Day. Love, romance, intimacy.......or, if you live in the real world, depression, loneliness and isolation. True love, or as itís also known The Greatest Lie Ever Told, has been portrayed in games many times, taunting us with their unattainable promises of devotion to one another and daring feats to protect the one you love. But weíre not here to talk about those games, weíre here to talk about the games that arenít afraid to tell it like it is, the games that stand up and say ďThatís not the way it happens!Ē, the games that rip out your still beating heart and step on it in five inch heels. Why write this you ask? Well I can tell you Iím certainly not bitter because someone broke up with me just before Valentineís Day thatís for certain.....I donít even care!

Besides it was either this or a blog about how I want spend Valentineís Day eating heart shaped steak with Chie.

Tidus and Yuna.

The PS2s golden couple might seem like a great pair on the surface, but dig a little deeper and youíll find that this house of love was built on a foundation of lies. You see Tidus isnít real, or heís from the past, or the future, or heís a dream, or a summon or something Iím not sure. Anyway the point is once the adventure is over and itís time to settle down he disappears, because thatís what a real relationship is, someone sticking around till all the excitement is over and then leaving once shit gets real. Poor Yuna was left with all sorts of abandonment and self esteem issues, she started dressing in hot pants and fell in with a bad crowd, itís a good thing they didnít make a game of that because it would be terrible.

I heard she found someone new though!

So there you have it, some of the few games that arenít afraid to face reality. So when youíre handing her jewellery or giving him aftershave just keep two things in mind.
#1 These games.
#2 Eventually your relationship will crash and burn until youíre left kneeling in the charred ashes of what was once your heart, burned down by the person you trusted most with it when you learn that they didnít really care for you, they were just toying with your love like a kitten with a ball of wool, digging their claws into you until all you thought that was pure and innocent in this world becomes a rotten visage for all the pain and suffering you went through for their sick enjoyment.....................Happy Valentineís Day!

P.S. Surprise! I wrote about Final Fantasy and Metal Gear again. I love those games but god damn theyíre easy targets. Will this exciting and uncreative trend continue? Tune in next time to find out!
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About Handyone of us since 1:44 PM on 09.14.2009

Welcome to the blog.... you must be bored. anyway im Handy, I'm a student in Ireland and I'm here to talk about whatever may come into my mind....so not much then.

Lets see... Iíve been playing games pretty much my whole life, since my Commodore back in the day to my ps3 now Iíve been hooked. Actually come to think of it I canít remember a time I wasnít playing games. Canít say I have a favourite genre, I like to try a bit of everything, though I will go to town on a good RPG. Iíll have something to fill in this space as soon as my life becomes interesting.

^^^ Seriously, I wrote that like four years ago and still nothing interesting has happened.

Like everyone else on Destructoid Iím at a loss on what to fill this space with so I guess Iíll just catalogue my greatest hits, if you can call a loose collection of lists and borderline pornographic fanart ďgreatest hitsĒ.

Listmania Ė Because liking something isnít as important as liking it in the correct order.

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs: Part two

Gamings Greatest Slinky Invisible Women with Huge Asses

E3 Approaches: The E3 survival guide!

Something about E3: 34 things youíll have to hear soon

Lost? Lonely? Looking for Love?

Gamingís worst legal guardians

Gaming DIY

Valentineís Day, Shmalentineís.....Shmay

Get a new look at the Gaming Salon!


The NPC survival guide

Game lessons that donít work in real life

Fanart Flops Ė Because you must suffer.

Fanart Flops: Back by (Un)Popular Demand

Fanart Flops: Eyebleach, I Choose You Edition

Fanart Flops: Octopus Hojo Edition

Fanart Flops: Stop Raping My Childhood Edition

Fanart Flops. (Possibly NSFW)

Wankery Ė The terrible results of when I pretend Iím smart.

Dear Industry: I Am Not a Psychopath

Final Fantasy Versus Itself

Only Human

The culture Gap

Sargasm Ė Because Iím kind of a dick.

Darksiders 2 in a nutshell

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

How Dare You, Capcom

Death to Red Shepard!

How to make a sequel

Why FFXIII is the worst one EVAR!

The Scandalous Scam of Samit Sarkar!

In the name of SCIENCE!!!

Front page Ė When Destructoid has terrible lapses in judgement.

Top 12 Videogame porno parodies (NSFW)

Handyís X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs

Comments of the Week: Busst Stop

Comments of the week: George Michael Warfare 3

Donít forget Comments of the Week

Comments of the Week: Tinfoil Hat Edition

Just because.
PSN ID:Handy2


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