The NPC survival guide.

If you ever find yourself in a game, this comprehensive guide will show you how to not die a horrible, horrible death. For those of you that don’t know (shame on you) NPCs are Non Playable Characters, the extras of the gaming world.

We’ve all played games and thought how much fun it would be to be a protagonist, but have you ever wondered just how bloodcurdlingly terrifying it would be to be an NPC. Death awaits you around every corner, main characters, villains, bosses...... all of them want you dead. But worry no more, because with this extensive guide, you sir or madam can avoid a horrific painful demise.

Tip #1 – Avoid New York at all costs.

New York, Liberty City, Empire City, umm.... Metro town, whatever they call it you must never go there. If you already live there follow this advice carefully. Get in your car and drive. Don’t pack any belongings..... you won’t need them where you’re going. Don’t stop driving for anything, not for red lights, not for electric men, and not for people with pointy arms. And above all else..... avoid eastern European men in tracksuits.


I know your rolling your eyes but trust me..... they’re life savers.

And there you have it, your key to survival. Make them your bible, your code, your creed and there’s a chance you might live for more than five minutes.So..... any more advice? Did I miss anything? What would you do to survive the NPC life? Let me know in the comments.

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