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Riot Monster

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My First Dtoid Post Ever is in 2009 = Fail

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Hello Humanoids
Alright, so I'm a couple of years late but give me a break. This is my first post and I wanted to let you get to know me a bit. I go by the name of RiotMonster and I've been playing games since I figured out the Atari 2600. I honestly can't remember too much from those days. I CAN remember enjoying games like Asteroids, Centipede, Chopper Command, Frogger, Pac-Man, Parachute & of course, Space Invaders. My fondest memories of early video gaming were with the Sega Genesis, though. Yes, I was a Sega Fangirl. Owned & Loved the Sega Genesis, Saturn and Dreamcast. STILL DO AND WHAT?!

I am aware that posting here, I'm throwing myself into the shark tank of the Destructoid Army. I have been reading your articles and listening to the podcasts for a while now and I really do love how tight knit the community is here and finally want to join in, myself. I try not to be biased when it comes to video games and giving my opinions about different titles, genres and systems. I currently own the Atari 2600, NES, Super Nintendo, Nintendo GameCube, Nintendo 64, Nintendo Wii, Original Gameboy, Gameboy Color, Gameboy SP, Nintendo DS Lite, Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Sony Playstation, Sony Playstation 2, Sony PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360 Elite, & Xbox 360 Arcade. Pretty much all I am missing at the moment is a PS3. Now taking donations, btw. ;D

Since I was a tyke stumbling into the living room with my uneven pigtails, I have been addicted to video games. Raised in a world of food stamps and off-brand cereal, I learned to appreciate the finer things in life. I picked up that legendary controller with that glorious orange button, some of you might recognize as the Atari 2600 controller, and I was in love. Most little girls grew up making their Barbies fuck, I was learning the magical ways of the joystick. Years later, I spend the majority of my time, when not plopped in front of my TV with a controller in my hand, in video game forums or reading reviews on interesting, upcoming titles. I love games from hardcore, in-your-face, brutal, balls-to-the-wall, shooters like Gears of War to fun, carefree, colorful games like Super Paper Mario. I'm merely a Hardcore Gamer who owns a Nintendog. I see gaming as honestly my full-time job. I'm pretty sure I bleed pixels. Not to mention, I didn't skip school to go drink alcohol & have anal sex like the cool, POPULAR kids.. You'd find me in the arcade wasting my life savings (in quarters) on House of the Dead and Soul Calibur. To this day, I have no idea how I graduated when I was hardly ever in school.


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About RiotMonsterone of us since 8:35 PM on 02.11.2008


How's it hanging nerdlings, geekettes, /b/asement-dwellers, stoners, web monkeys, indie devs, lurkers, trolls & industry fat cats?~

In case you don't know a lick about me, I joined Destructoid quite a few sunsets ago in the early Spring of 2008, when someone from the Internet kindly informed me that Destructoid would "eat your unborn babies". Having an insatiable taste for mucus-covered, unborn babies, I knew what I had to do. Plus, people were like "WHAT THE @#$% YOU TALKING BOUT MAN?!1! WE GOT XBOX AND PLAYSTATION BITCH NIGGAH!!1!" Naturally, I was in. Since then I lurke your forums, read your c-blawgs, listen to your podcasts and lul silently. Also, cocks.


Like most people, I have a wide range of interests. I adore anything from goofy people, offensive jokes, zombie flicks, stand-up comedians, and mind-altering experiences, to comic books, sexual positivity, philosophy, mysteries, and general bizarreness.

Also, I'm a die-hard gamer and I have an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and a never-ending appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. I like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back broad. I was born with a sarcastic mindset, dark sense of humor, and an uttermost weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date. I may be unorganized, immature, and irresponsible but Iím the funnest chick youíll have the chance to get teamed up with on xbox live.

You might spot me at any olí party with my signature tangled hair, ripped Hello Kitty pajama pants, and a battle-worn shirt. The girl who's most likely flapping her tongue, detailing the last minute curb stomp in her freshest match, growling about big corporations and government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories or geeking out about some other irrelevant crap. The girl who strives to learn something new every day and genuinely enjoys turning strangers into friends.

That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me. If Iím not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

Bullets, babes & bombs,

Last bit!~
Honestly, if you ever happen to have a hankering to just chill, blast some good jams & relish in lighthearted, videogame-related, blood-spraying with me... Hit me up. Shoot me a message if you want to talk about anything at all really, I'm a bit of an open book and not a bad listener, if I do say so myself. And hey~ If you let me, Iíll cheerfully put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.


Atari 2600
Super NES
Nintendo 64
Nintendo GameCube
Nintendo DS Lite [Own]
Nintendo DSi
Nintendo Wii
Game Boy Original
Game Boy Color
Game Boy Pocket [Own]
Game Boy Advance SP
Sony PS2 Slim
Sony PSP
Sony PS3 [Own]
Sega Genesis
Sega Saturn
Sega Dreamcast
Xbox 360 Elite
Xbox 360 Arcade
Xbox 360 Slim [Own]


Action Role-playing
First-person Shooter
Third-person Shooter


It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia


Beer Pong

My Halo Days

Destructoids' Resident Bad Asses

Destructoids's Comic Artist Mikey, because of my severe addiction to the Dtoid forums, he made me an Easter Egg once. :)

MOMerator Zodiac Eclipse, because she owns SO HARD for this. (Bongette or Bob-ong)

Phallus Knife Fight drew this and it's fuckin EXCELLENT.

Epic-bearded Samurai Y0j1mb0 made me this because we're going to get hammered one of these days.

Xbox LIVE:The Kush Kitten
PSN ID:TheKushKitten


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