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LONG BLOG

Tanked Up Review and Why This First Week Fails

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Listen, I appreciate everything Destructoid has done for me. I appreciate this contest, but do I have to believe it's fair? I don't think so. Not with this first game, anway

Tanked Up is your typical flash game, only this flash game is used to find Destructoid a winner for it's newest contest. The problem with this is that we're talking about a racing game on PC that's flash based...

When you're dealing with a racing game time is everything. Every corner must be carefully taken with the maximum amount of efficiency. Since this game isn't a simulator, taking a turn is best done mostly by sticking to the walls. There are some moments where you must move away from a wall and jump to the next side of the track.

I won't comment on the visuals because it's a flash game, but I will say that whoever mapped the controls needs to shoot themselves in the jugular. Arrow keys and mouse controls? That has to be the most awkward thing ever. I know they're tanks and should feel weird, but common. Spare my hand from cramps, please?

The problem with trying to achieve the best time is that this game is buggy. Whoever tested this needs to go back and review their other job options. We're talking incompatibility issues, some browsers giving you faster times than others (IE is best for this game), and just in-game glitches.

I was having a good run on one race, and I took the exact same line I was before. I went up to the bridge and stuck close to the edge, but not off of it. I then blew up for no reason at all. I wasn't moving to the edge, and I wasn't off the bridge. I had gone halfway across it before blowing up. This has happened to me more than once. I'm not the only one either.

We're talking about a racing game, folks. Every millisecond matters, and trying to run a contest with this just doesn't work. There are far too many variables when it comes to gaming on a PC, especially with something on a browser. Not only are you running into hardware differences, but you're also going through different web browsers. We're not all using Internet Explorer.

P.S. - Before the drama starts, I'm not mad I don't have a chance at winning. I have a PC that works and can run TF2 like a fucking dream. I know I'm not going to win. Me winning isn't even an issue because I'm not really good at video games. Even if things were fair I wouldn't have a chance. I'm just calling it like I see it.

I'll keep playing. Even if I win (Haha - Keep dreaming, stupid) my opinion still stands.

Again, I love this website and it's community. I'm not trying to start any drama. Please don't take this the wrong way.

Love,

Alexander Carrillo

EDIT: FROM IRC

<Reaprar> WHAT THE FUCK I JUST GOT 41 SECONDS BECAUSE MY COMPUTER WAS LAGIGNG FSDODSNOFDSF

<Reaprar> OH MY GOD

* Psychomax ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: )

<Reaprar> http://dt1.destructoid.com/elephant/game_leaderboard.phtml?pwn=ftw

<Reaprar> OH. MY. GOD

<+Alex|Away> ................

<+The_Young_Scot> well this is a great contest

<+Alex|Away> Does this mean I should start destroying my CPU with unnecessary open programs to make my PC lag?

<Reaprar> I wish I didn't share my lag secret, this means people are going to open up crysis while they play
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About vexed alexone of us since 12:48 PM on 08.04.2007

A Mexican.
Xbox LIVE:Vexed Alex
PSN ID:Alexandorator
Steam ID:http://steamcommunity.com/id/vex
BattleNET:[email protected]


 

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